Today, October 2, 2012

Today’s project: An adage day keeps the idiots at bay

I really had to push myself to sit at the computer today.  Ok, that’s not entirely true – I didn’t have any problem surfing Facebook…or clicking fabulous things on Pinterest…or checking to see how many hits I’ve gotten on my blog.

But actually opening up Word to write my blog, that seemed to elude me.

I came up with all kinds of other things that needed doing…

Like napping.

And checking my email.

And…well, I don’t know what else, but I’m sure they were vitally important.  To the welfare of the world at large.  Saving mankind and all of that.

The result of this was my inner voice yelling at me all day.  Yelling clichés and adages.  Things like: “The sooner you get to work, the sooner you will get done!”  And “Don’t let life get you down! Rise ABOVE!”

This lead me to ponder all of those bits of ‘wisdom’ (and I use that term very loosely) that seem to crop up all the time from those well-meaners.  You know, those people who want to say the 'right thing' and just tend to say the stupid thing.  And in all the times when they really are the last thing you want to hear.  Those times when you either want some real practical advice or just a hug. Believe me, I had several choice words with myself today about how using those ridiculous clichés shows a want of imagination and originality.  Come up with some thing new, for corn’s sake!

I wanted to make sure I was using the right descriptors so here’s some definitions from www.dictionary.com

Cliché:  a

trite, stereotyped expression; a sentence or phrase, usually expressing a popular or common thought or idea, that has lost originality, ingenuity, and impact by long overuse, as sadder but wiser,  or strong as an ox

Adage: a

traditional saying expressing a common experience or observation; proverb.

But I really stopped to consider all of the times I’ve heard these phrases and (intended) words of encouragement.  And in those moments, how often I had to plaster on a smile and nod with a “thank you” or a “yes, I know what you mean.”  Groan.  When really, what I wanted to say was something like: “Seriously, do you think that is the piece of advice I need right now?”

One of my favorite examples is the “What doesn’t kill you make’s you stronger” blather that people break out when you are in the depths of some crushingly depressing mess.  I remember when I was going through my divorce and people would say this to me, I couldn’t help myself (and I was in a bit of an angry spot, unfortunately for those poor buggers) I would respond with: “You know, that’s all well and good, but what do I do right now?” 

The ‘stronger’ cliché and my other pet-peeve one, “it will get better," just tend to make my skin crawl.  Because when you are in the pit of despair, you could really care less about the future.  And, dear reader, I know where that spot is – that spot is the day after you realize your sweet baby, 9-year old girl is not coming home…ever.  In that hole, in that dark, dark place, there is no future.  There is nothing but where you are…and where you aren’t…and where they aren’t.

Honestly, I think most of these phrases are crap. I’m sure, at some point, they were comforting to someone, and maybe that someone was just the one saying them. But as I tend to be a say-what-I-actually-mean kinda gal, they just tork me off.

What doesn’t kill you doesn’t make you stronger…it just almost frickin’ kills you…and usually gives you some kind of irrational phobia.  THAT’S what happens when you ‘don’t get killed.’

And it DOESN’T get better. Trust me.  It does get different.  And sometimes different is enough to get you through the day.  Then getting through that day somehow gets you through the next day.

Of course, you take one day at a time.  You can’t very well take two or three at once.  Because believe me, if you could, the people who you are telling this to would take that option in a heartbeat….we heard that sometime past all these days ‘it will get better’ and we would love nothing more than to get there faster.

As I read through what I’ve written so far, it seems pretty bitter and angry, and that was so far from my original intent.  I guess venting your spleen can have unexpected side effects.  Sorry, reader. Here. I will post a towel for you to wipe of the ooky.

While clicking around on Facebook, a favorite thing to do, I see lots of memes with these clichés and adages in cute little sign form.  I love the idea and thought that I would create my own.  I hope you enjoy Rora’s twisted versions of classic thoughts…

And this one isn't mine, but I thought it apropos:

Life is about the journey? – Whatever! TRAVEL is about the journey. Life is about living. Come see where we ‘travel’ tomorrow… and tell your friends to come along!