Today, September 22, 2012

Today’s project:  Resting

For those of you that don’t know me, let me explain.

I grew up Catholic.  In a very small town in Nebraska. A very small, German Catholic town.  In which I was taught catechism by real nuns.

And although they didn’t have rulers, like the stereotype leads us to believe, they did have stern voices.  Strong tones and words that were certainly effective an instilling a huge guilt complex on a child.  Now before I get a ton of hate mail, I KNOW that my experience does not represent every Catholic Church member’s experience. Nor does my personal history represent the position of the Catholic Church, its doctrine or it’s views and opinions.  Ok?  Seriously, don’t send me email or messages about how my statement is ruining the church and people’s faith. For real!

A guilt complex, however it is created, is a powerful thing.  And like certain ‘unmentionable’ diseases, never seems to go away.  No matter how much holy water you toss on it. (And don’t send me any nasty messages about how I’m being insensitive to people with unfortunate medical conditions.)

So, although I was moaning, groaning and whining in my bed yesterday and much of today, the feeling gnawing at my stomach was not just nausea but a superb case of guilt-itis.  You know, that swelling of your psyche that prevents you from thinking clearly, finishing what you intended, or listening to loved ones telling you ‘it’s ok,’ even when you know they are right.

I DID try to drag myself out from under the snuggliness of my covers to crawl to the computer to post something, anything, yesterday.  As you well know, it didn’t happen.

Therefore, today’s project is a continuation of yesterday’s project: allowing myself some much needed rest and relaxation.

I’m well aware of the pressures that the average middle-class American is faced with everyday.  Beyond just trying to hold your head above water financially, the politicians have put on us the responsibility for:

¨     Maintaining the economy [shop more, people!  Big Business NEEEEEDS you!]

¨     Educating the masses [each and every one of our children must attend college – and not just community college, but a major 4-year institution]

¨     Being the best parents ever [our kids require both parents to stay home at all times to support, lead and discipline them – but don’t forget the first bullet point]

¨     Vote, intelligently, on every issue that MSNBC and CNN tell us is vital [and start a letter/email writing campaign if you can’t get out to the polls]

¨     Paying our taxes without grousing [our taxes and those of Big Business – see first bullet]

With all of that, how can an average, mid-Western mom, NOT feel incredibly guilty about needing to take the day off from saving my neighborhood, America and the world?

My body, evidentially, has a different viewpoint and has had loads of fun keeping me mostly incapacitated for a day and a half.   And it occurred to me, why aren’t we allowed to have a day to rest?  Why aren’t we allowed to say, ‘Gimmie a break! All of that on one person is ridiculous!’  Why can’t I focus on things that I think are MORE important? Like:

¨     Treating my fellow humans with respect [saying ‘Please’ and ‘Thank you’]

¨     Helping others when I can [volunteering my time to those organizations that need it]

¨     Giving special energy to my family [taking a sec for an extra hug, kiss, or ‘You’re awesome’]

¨     Supporting my friends when they need me [visiting, calling, texting, or sending a card]

¨     Allowing myself things that recharge me [rest, reading, singing, or other happy stuff]

So, I’m acknowledging some truths to myself; I need rest, I should give myself that rest; receiving rest means I am able (physically, mentally, spiritually) to do all the other stuff.

And to those nuns with their stern looks and harsh words I say: ‘Listen!...

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Hail Mary full of grace…’